After an incident in Tesco recently, when a man escalated a situation so rapidly and beyond the realm of normal behaviour or comprehension, it stirred me to wonder if people generally seem to be becoming more short-fused. The situation in Tesco also started me thinking about what I should do in such situations and how best to respond to them in the aftermath, and what responsibility I have as a citizen to make the area in which I work or live better and safer after I experience such incidents.
The incident in question started off mundanely enough. It was getting late at home and as we were winding down for the night my wife remembered that we didn’t have anything for breakfast in the morning and she wasn’t buying my promise that I would wake up early enough to pick up the groceries so that they will be available for when the kids wake up. And I didn’t blame her to be honest. Unlike the groceries I needed to buy, the sanctity of that type of promise had long since expired.
So I drove to Tesco, took the opportunity to fill my car with diesel (I know, I know, but I bought the car when diesel was the better type of car fuel before the scientists changed their mind, which they are perfectly entitled to do) and picked up the free range eggs, Weetabix and milk and waited patiently in line in the queue behind four other people. A man behind was becoming impatient and shouted out to a worker at Tesco who was stacking the shelves to man one of the spare tills. The staff member said that he is needs to stack the shelves and so can’t got to the till. The man behind me then shouted back that he wanted to speak to the manager and the staff member indicated towards the back of the store. The man behind me then walked off in the direction of the office at the back of the store.
So far, so mundane.
But then the customer in front of me noted that people seemed to be gathering in the forecourt of the store where the cars fill up with petrol. As I looked out of the window, I saw that there seemed to be a frantic air about the people gathered outside. The man in front then shouted to the lady cashier at the till that ‘he has a knife’ and then he also left the store. I stepped forward and looked down the aisle to the other end of the store where the office is and the man who had stormed off to the office was standing with his back to me, and with a knife in his right hand. He was standing tall over two staff members and speaking very agitatedly at them.
At this point I asked the lady at the till if she had called the police and she said no. I don’t know why I would have thought she would have already called the police since we had both found out about the knife are roughly the same time. But in any case, I then grabbed my mobile and rang the police. After the operator had put me through to them, I described the situation as it was happening. I got the impression that the police were interpreting the situation as a hostage situation.
Worryingly, the man then stopped threatening the staff and then simply re-joined the queue behind me whilst I was still on the phone to the police. Not too wisely I then said to the policewoman at the end of the line “he is behind me now, so I have to go”, with no attempt to codify that I was describing to the police the current situation.
Fortunately, he didn’t do or say anything to me, and I hurriedly paid at the till for my groceries, exited the store and got back to my car. The perpetrator of the threats to the staff walked out of the shop and past my car and away on to the main road. I would have taken a picture of the man from my phone but whilst I was in the car a police lady called me back. I explained the direction in which he went and for a little while we tried to track him down with me driving around whilst I was describing my route to the lady on the phone over speakerphone.
Unfortunately, this was to no avail and the guy seemed to have disappeared.
In a separate incident I experienced an unwarranted actual attempt at violence against me. This was a while ago, perhaps several months, and this separate incident occurred on a crowded tube train travelling westbound towards Holborn on the Central Line.
It was during rush hour and the train was typically packed with commuters and the bustle of passengers meant that I was squeezed against the door where another gentleman was stood. He was facing the door and stood with his back to me but he wasn’t concerned about who I was – his only concern seemed to be that I was being nudged slightly into him every time the train turned a bend or changed speed, or I was moved by the other commuters into him.
Eventually he got annoyed to the extent that he started swinging his elbow back quite violently to repel whoever it is being moved into him. Fortunately, despite his vigorous and repeated efforts, none of the swings landed. But they could have and had they hit a child in the face or someone in the ribs then they could have caused an injury. He was eliciting a definite intent to cause pain or injury.
But perhaps the incident that stirred me most and was the most direct occurrence of aggression that has caused me to think about issue of rising tensions recently is an incident that occurred to me recently as I walked to the shopping centre in Milton Keynes for lunch.
As I sauntered down the main footpath towards the get to Debenhams (so that I could walk through it and into the main Intu shopping centre), and whilst I was on the phone to my wife, I heard someone on a bike behind me ring his bell.
This is a normal occurrence in MK since the footpaths are quite wide and allow for both pedestrians and cyclists walk along the same route. I glanced to my left and noticed that there was plenty of space for the cyclist to get past, so I carried on walking in my lane. I didn’t want to do the obstruction dance with a cyclist. He could see where I was and so he can cycle around me, I thought. But then the bell rang again. And then the cyclist rode up to my left and started shouting and cursing. I shouted back to the effect of him being able to see me and me not having eyes on the back of my head.
This seemed to rankle him, and he got off his bike and got up close to me. He was taller me than me and puffed himself up and put his face right next to mine as he looked down at me. He was shouting incomprehensible gibberish interspersed with swearing. He was also flailing his arms about and allowing spit to fly from his mouth exaggeratedly. I believe the intention was to give me the impression that he was a bit of a loose cannon and that I should be wary of him. I decided to refrain from saying anything. There was no need at this point. It is doubtful that any fact-checked statement that I made about me not having any eyes on the back of my head would have met with rational consideration and approval from him.
I suppose the key thing here, as with all the other aggressive situations that I have found myself in, is that there is no point in aggravating the situation and causing the level of tension to escalate. It is not a time for intellectual discourse and any attempt to do so could only be perceived as further provocation.
If I think about what could be behind the increase in violence, aggression and open hostility that is being perceived then many thoughts come to mind.
The first is, of course, that violence may be like sex. That is, every generation believes that it is the first to discover it. But I think that any scholarly investigation will always re-surface the same mantra about the reporting of violence increasing as opposed to actual violence going up. But the statistics showing the number of children carrying knives and the increase in the actual number of deaths from stabbings is hard to argue with. To add to this, a brief discussion with friends and colleagues will result in the sharing of many and similar anecdotal stories.
Over this last weekend alone somebody died a few hundred metres from my home after situation escalated at a party. In this incident another person was also stabbed but thankfully he will survive. The deceased 24-year-old managed to make it to Ilford Lane where he succumbed to his injuries. Goodness knows why he didn’t go to get medical help instead. I can’t imagine what his family must be going through having to deal with the death of such a young man in their family under such violent and futile circumstances.
Lots of factors are mentioned to explain this rise in crime and the perceived increased aggression. Some argue that violent scenes and language in music and movies provides the mood music and creates an environment within which an aggressive mindset can flourish. The counterargument being that media and art merely reflects what is going in society and where people are at. One can’t help thinking though that portraying violence does nothing to challenge prevailing violent or aggressive mindsets.
It is ironic that the movie Blue Story that seeks to describe how young people can fall into a never-ending cycle of competitive violence itself became the centre of violence at various screenings, with “25 significant incidents” at sixteen Vue cinemas across the country on the day that it was released before Vue decided not to screen the movie.
Personally, I think the main takeaway is that when in a situation that has the potential to be aggressive the best thing to do is not to escalate the situation. But whilst in the situation also be mindful that I may need to be providing information about the encounter to the police. Should an actual assault or other violent act occur then this information can be passed on to the police to help them track down the perpetrator.
If I had taken a picture of the man who threatened the staff in Tesco, then I have no doubt that the police would have been able to identify and apprehend the man relatively easily. I think that getting the police involved if a grievous act has occurred is vital if we are to keep the community within which we live free from violent offenders and people who control their aggression.
07 Jul 2019 No Comments
Rising tensions
After an incident in Tesco recently, when a man escalated a situation so rapidly and beyond the realm of normal behaviour or comprehension, it stirred me to wonder if people generally seem to be becoming more short-fused. The situation in Tesco also started me thinking about what I should do in such situations and how best to respond to them in the aftermath, and what responsibility I have as a citizen to make the area in which I work or live better and safer after I experience such incidents.
The incident in question started off mundanely enough. It was getting late at home and as we were winding down for the night my wife remembered that we didn’t have anything for breakfast in the morning and she wasn’t buying my promise that I would wake up early enough to pick up the groceries so that they will be available for when the kids wake up. And I didn’t blame her to be honest. Unlike the groceries I needed to buy, the sanctity of that type of promise had long since expired.
So I drove to Tesco, took the opportunity to fill my car with diesel (I know, I know, but I bought the car when diesel was the better type of car fuel before the scientists changed their mind, which they are perfectly entitled to do) and picked up the free range eggs, Weetabix and milk and waited patiently in line in the queue behind four other people. A man behind was becoming impatient and shouted out to a worker at Tesco who was stacking the shelves to man one of the spare tills. The staff member said that he is needs to stack the shelves and so can’t got to the till. The man behind me then shouted back that he wanted to speak to the manager and the staff member indicated towards the back of the store. The man behind me then walked off in the direction of the office at the back of the store.
So far, so mundane.
But then the customer in front of me noted that people seemed to be gathering in the forecourt of the store where the cars fill up with petrol. As I looked out of the window, I saw that there seemed to be a frantic air about the people gathered outside. The man in front then shouted to the lady cashier at the till that ‘he has a knife’ and then he also left the store. I stepped forward and looked down the aisle to the other end of the store where the office is and the man who had stormed off to the office was standing with his back to me, and with a knife in his right hand. He was standing tall over two staff members and speaking very agitatedly at them.
At this point I asked the lady at the till if she had called the police and she said no. I don’t know why I would have thought she would have already called the police since we had both found out about the knife are roughly the same time. But in any case, I then grabbed my mobile and rang the police. After the operator had put me through to them, I described the situation as it was happening. I got the impression that the police were interpreting the situation as a hostage situation.
Worryingly, the man then stopped threatening the staff and then simply re-joined the queue behind me whilst I was still on the phone to the police. Not too wisely I then said to the policewoman at the end of the line “he is behind me now, so I have to go”, with no attempt to codify that I was describing to the police the current situation.
Fortunately, he didn’t do or say anything to me, and I hurriedly paid at the till for my groceries, exited the store and got back to my car. The perpetrator of the threats to the staff walked out of the shop and past my car and away on to the main road. I would have taken a picture of the man from my phone but whilst I was in the car a police lady called me back. I explained the direction in which he went and for a little while we tried to track him down with me driving around whilst I was describing my route to the lady on the phone over speakerphone.
Unfortunately, this was to no avail and the guy seemed to have disappeared.
In a separate incident I experienced an unwarranted actual attempt at violence against me. This was a while ago, perhaps several months, and this separate incident occurred on a crowded tube train travelling westbound towards Holborn on the Central Line.
It was during rush hour and the train was typically packed with commuters and the bustle of passengers meant that I was squeezed against the door where another gentleman was stood. He was facing the door and stood with his back to me but he wasn’t concerned about who I was – his only concern seemed to be that I was being nudged slightly into him every time the train turned a bend or changed speed, or I was moved by the other commuters into him.
Eventually he got annoyed to the extent that he started swinging his elbow back quite violently to repel whoever it is being moved into him. Fortunately, despite his vigorous and repeated efforts, none of the swings landed. But they could have and had they hit a child in the face or someone in the ribs then they could have caused an injury. He was eliciting a definite intent to cause pain or injury.
But perhaps the incident that stirred me most and was the most direct occurrence of aggression that has caused me to think about issue of rising tensions recently is an incident that occurred to me recently as I walked to the shopping centre in Milton Keynes for lunch.
As I sauntered down the main footpath towards the get to Debenhams (so that I could walk through it and into the main Intu shopping centre), and whilst I was on the phone to my wife, I heard someone on a bike behind me ring his bell.
This is a normal occurrence in MK since the footpaths are quite wide and allow for both pedestrians and cyclists walk along the same route. I glanced to my left and noticed that there was plenty of space for the cyclist to get past, so I carried on walking in my lane. I didn’t want to do the obstruction dance with a cyclist. He could see where I was and so he can cycle around me, I thought. But then the bell rang again. And then the cyclist rode up to my left and started shouting and cursing. I shouted back to the effect of him being able to see me and me not having eyes on the back of my head.
This seemed to rankle him, and he got off his bike and got up close to me. He was taller me than me and puffed himself up and put his face right next to mine as he looked down at me. He was shouting incomprehensible gibberish interspersed with swearing. He was also flailing his arms about and allowing spit to fly from his mouth exaggeratedly. I believe the intention was to give me the impression that he was a bit of a loose cannon and that I should be wary of him. I decided to refrain from saying anything. There was no need at this point. It is doubtful that any fact-checked statement that I made about me not having any eyes on the back of my head would have met with rational consideration and approval from him.
I suppose the key thing here, as with all the other aggressive situations that I have found myself in, is that there is no point in aggravating the situation and causing the level of tension to escalate. It is not a time for intellectual discourse and any attempt to do so could only be perceived as further provocation.
If I think about what could be behind the increase in violence, aggression and open hostility that is being perceived then many thoughts come to mind.
The first is, of course, that violence may be like sex. That is, every generation believes that it is the first to discover it. But I think that any scholarly investigation will always re-surface the same mantra about the reporting of violence increasing as opposed to actual violence going up. But the statistics showing the number of children carrying knives and the increase in the actual number of deaths from stabbings is hard to argue with. To add to this, a brief discussion with friends and colleagues will result in the sharing of many and similar anecdotal stories.
Over this last weekend alone somebody died a few hundred metres from my home after situation escalated at a party. In this incident another person was also stabbed but thankfully he will survive. The deceased 24-year-old managed to make it to Ilford Lane where he succumbed to his injuries. Goodness knows why he didn’t go to get medical help instead. I can’t imagine what his family must be going through having to deal with the death of such a young man in their family under such violent and futile circumstances.
Lots of factors are mentioned to explain this rise in crime and the perceived increased aggression. Some argue that violent scenes and language in music and movies provides the mood music and creates an environment within which an aggressive mindset can flourish. The counterargument being that media and art merely reflects what is going in society and where people are at. One can’t help thinking though that portraying violence does nothing to challenge prevailing violent or aggressive mindsets.
It is ironic that the movie Blue Story that seeks to describe how young people can fall into a never-ending cycle of competitive violence itself became the centre of violence at various screenings, with “25 significant incidents” at sixteen Vue cinemas across the country on the day that it was released before Vue decided not to screen the movie.
Personally, I think the main takeaway is that when in a situation that has the potential to be aggressive the best thing to do is not to escalate the situation. But whilst in the situation also be mindful that I may need to be providing information about the encounter to the police. Should an actual assault or other violent act occur then this information can be passed on to the police to help them track down the perpetrator.
If I had taken a picture of the man who threatened the staff in Tesco, then I have no doubt that the police would have been able to identify and apprehend the man relatively easily. I think that getting the police involved if a grievous act has occurred is vital if we are to keep the community within which we live free from violent offenders and people who control their aggression.
by Abu Imaan in Uncategorized